Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
