Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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