Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The adults are the big ones right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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