Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
