I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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