that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
