He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
