Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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