So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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