you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
