This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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