I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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