Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he puts the penis in happiness.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
