i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
