if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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