In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need water and some morals
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
