Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
