I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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