Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
