Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
