it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
