I think my vagina is haunted
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
