I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
