Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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