He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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