dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize