I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
