I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
