it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
