ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
