The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
