I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
nutella sex= disaster
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
