What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
