remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
