Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
