She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
