You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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