Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
