hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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