I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he thought i was a dude.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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