Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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