There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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