Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
honey bunches of taint.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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