i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
