just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This show inspires me to have sex in space
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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