i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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