What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
