That's intense
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
