I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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