I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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