i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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