Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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