I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No subtext here. People are naked.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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