I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
