Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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