Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
