Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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