Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
