I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
