I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
