i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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